"A Girl's Nude Photo, and Altered Lives," headline the New York Times story involving Margarite and Isaiah, two eighth grade students in Washington state. She posed naked for a photo and sent it to him, who forwarded it on to someone else, who captioned the photo with something about being a "ho" before forwarding it to someone else.
The Times' writer expresses best what happened next: "In short order, students would be handcuffed and humiliated, parents mortified and lessons learned at a harsh cost. Only then would the community try to turn the fiasco into an opportunity to educate."
What lesson has been learned, at wash harsh cost?
The Times goes on: "Around the country, law enforcement officials and educators are struggling with how to confront minors who “sext,” an imprecise term that refers to sending sexual photos, videos or texts from one cellphone to another."
Around the country, law enforcement officials and educators have always struggled with how to confront and educate minors concerning "sex," an imprecise term that refers to whatever sexual behavior has become more popular - and taboo - as of late.
Sexting is new. Never before have teenagers had ready access to this sort of technology. Indeed, never before has anyone had ready access to this kind of technology because it didn't exist. Clandestine CIA agents may have had some uniquely small photography tools at their disposal as early as the mid 1980's - and that was it. At a party in Hoboken, New Jersey myself and half a dozen friends laughed hysterically (and yes, the alcohol helped) when a pal named Jen, inebriated, attempted to take a photo with her cordless phone. For the rest of the night the girls pretended to answer their small, portable cameras every time the phone rang.
Ha-ha. Welcome to 2011. Mobile phones are in the hands of a majority of high school students, and I don't think there's a mobile phone on the market incapable of taking pictures.
Add to the mix adolescents, who are not only inexperienced in life's human interactive adventures - erotic, romantic, platonic and everything in between - but still trying to figure out who they are in relation to the other humans. Just for intellectual kicks, let's consider the stifling, often violent conformity that exists in public schools and remember how hard we all (parents, teachers, kids) work at ignoring the incivility.
In an attempt to curb the rapidly ascending teen pregnancy rates during the 1970's public schools started "teaching" sex education with the same attention to detail, craftsmanship and awareness with which public schools teach everything.
Yes, we are amazed teen pregnancy went down. And it continues to decline! Did the classes help? Sure they did. The rise of euphemistic courses like Family Living and Good Social Choices (they all could have been named 1,001 Ways To Just Say No) either had an impact on the rate of teen pregnancy or correlated with it so closely we didn't care. I argue they had an impact. If nothing else (and I'd argue nothing else) they allowed parents and offspring to vaguely communicate about sex.
Other things helped. The rise of AIDS and its misuse as a politico-sexual fear inducer got the brightest of high school and college students falsely believing anyone with a bloodstream was at risk, and that contracting the virus meant certain death.*
After the free-for-all of the 1970's and 1980's people were afraid in general, too. Global Warming Hysteria hit its peak in the 2000's, now fading under the guise of Global Climate Change (really, can anyone argue that the weather changes?).
Teen pregnancy rates aren't rising. Teenagers are still Just Saying No to an incredibly specific type of sexual expression: physical copulation. The debate behind so-called Abstinence Only sex education wasn't ever that loud and disappeared with a conservative presidential administration.
Why? Because 1,001 Ways To Just Say No and Abstinence Only are incredibly similar.
Hence, our new problem. Again: teen pregnancy isn't on the rise. Sexting won't get anyone pregnant, and certainly won't give teens AIDS.
Which is why they do it.
We've taught them to do nothing but Just Say No. Information on armies of birth control and all the Really Good Reasons To Wait don't answer the essential problem a 16 year old girl or boy faces when alone with someone they are sexually attracted to and desperately desire to spend time with. Fine, fine; they both agree: We won't have sexual intercourse until we're married. But we can kiss (really deeply) in the movie theatre for a few hours before your Dad picks us up, then we can go home and text until they sun comes up...and if you're really nice to me, I'll send you a picture of me half naked because I know you respect me and I like you, too.
Yes, that scenario exists in a perfect world. Come on, do I really need to point out that my example is basic and alterable?
The same scenario used to surround sexual intercourse, remember? In addition to worrying about pregnancy Suzy worried what Tommy would tell his friends - the latter still being a risk of gay and lesbian teens.
Sexting at first glance looks and feels safer to teens. They haven't tried to apply for jobs, their sense of social responsibility begins and ends in high school and their communities. Later, they realize damaged reputations and destroyed social environments.
Teens sexT to avoid having sex. Since we've refused to tell them about anything about sex (romance, desire, friendship, lust, privacy, willingness, consent, kissing, arousal, spirituality...) yet haven't found a way to chemically neuter their central nervous systems (a bit too permanent? c'mon they could still have kids...) they keep seeking erotic expressions alternate to the One they know they can't have.
Perhaps one day we'll broaden sexual education to include something on sex that's educational. Mayhap we'll explain that first they'll have to decide what it is they're abstaining from before they decide to abstain.
Maybe one day we'll admit that there's more to 'sex' than Marriage and Just Say no.